Rants of a single Nigerian Girl (3)

by - July 29, 2017

The pretend boyfriend 

Saturday is fast approaching and I haven't found my pretend boyfriend yet. Well, it's not like I haven't found one, it's more like I haven't had the time to ask anyone.  Work has been really stressful this week and I've just been really busy. We've been doing this really big project that's been having everyone on their toes hence me not being able to carry out my mission and my boss hasn't been helping matters. She's been sending me around like I'm her slave and it has been so frustrating. Anyway, I'm going to do it today by all means because I can't allow work ruin my plan. There is no way I'm going to let Fred have the last laugh cause that's what he's going to be doing when I show up with no boyfriend on Saturday. Gosh! I'm so stressed out. I can't wait for Saturday to come and leave me in peace.

I'm thinking of asking Tobi to be my pretend boyfriend. Apart from the fact that he's mature, he's kind of like the only guy that can match up to Fred's beauty. Besides, we are kind of close too. He's one of the dudes that I talk to at work and he's a good guy. I'm sure he's not going to turn me down cause I'm willing to go as far as give him money just to make him agree to be my pretend boyfriend. Yes, that's how desperate I am and don't you dare give me that look. A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

I walk to Tobi's office were he is sited with some other staffs. I try as much as possible to great everyone there. You know Nigerians, if you don't greet them it's like you've committed a taboo. Honestly I don't get why Nigerians take greetings so seriously. Does it double the money in one's account? If you don't greet someone they began to call you proud or a snob. It's just so annoying. What if I didn't see you that's why I didn't greet you? I mean, if I see someone I'm familiar with why the hell won't I greet that fellow? Sometimes we just have to be reasonable.

"Hey, handsome", I say to Tobi.

He scoffed and I swear if he were white I would have been able to see the blush on his cheeks.

"What do you want?" He asks.

Ouch. He just hurt my feelings. I can't believe he thought I called him handsome because I want something from him. OK Ada chill, you actually want something from him.

"And why would you think I want something?" I still ask though.

"Because I know you, Ada",  he replies. "Anytime you give me a compliment like that you always ask for something".

Wow, I didn't even know that I usually did that. Whatever though. We all have a way of getting what we want, don't we?

"You know we so well, don't you? Anyways, can we step out for a few minutes?"

He agreed since he wasn't too busy. We headed to my car to talk. My work place is a gossip zone and any small news spreads like wild fire. I can't let someone eaves drop on our conversation. Not this one, biko.

We enter my car but it takes me a few seconds to gather the courage to talk. It's not everyday you get to see a girl asking a guy to be her boyfriend especially in Nigeria. I know I said it would be easy but I was wrong. My heart is beating so fast I think it will explode anytime soon. What if he actually turns me down? I begin to think. I know I said I can go to the extent of paying him but what if he refuses to take my money? Oh my God, it will be so embarrassing. He will probably tell his friends about it and they will use it to make fun of me. This is a bad idea. What was I thinking?

"Are you going to tell me why we are here?" He asks after much silence from me.

"Em... I... ", I hesitate.

Oh get a hold of yourself Ada. You can never know how this is going to play out if you don't make an attempt.

I sigh and when I'm calm I begin to speak, "I need you to be my pretend boyfriend".

"What?" He looks at me like I've suddenly grown an extra nose.

"Just for this Saturday",  I add.

He's still looking at me like that and if I wasn't already feeling embarrassed now I am. This is all Fred's fault. No, this is my mum's fault. If she hadn't made me come for that stupid dinner, all this wouldn't be happening right now.

"I said pretend", I voice trying to lighten the mood especially since he's been so quiet. Can he just say something already? The silence is killing me right here.

"Why?" He asks finally getting his voice back.

I try to explain everything to him but even as I speak my words don't make sense to me and I'm wondering how it will to him. The moment I'm done talking his lips form into a smile and the next thing I know he bursts into laughter. Em, how is any of this funny?

"Glad you find this funny", I say as I look away from him.

"Because it's funny", he says as he tries to get his breath together. "How can you not find this funny?"

Because it isn't funny. Honestly, I didn't get how he was finding this funny? I touched my nose to be sure I hadn't suddenly grown another one. Maybe that's what cracking him up cuz what I said wasn't even close to being funny.

He's finally back to his serious self again and I'm happy about that.
"Ada", he begins. "I've been asking you out for the past three months and you've been telling me you're not ready. Now you want me to pretend to be your boyfriend. Don't you find that weird?"

I put my head down not being able to look at him. Yes, he has been asking me out for the past three months but I thought that would be a good reason for him to want to play my pretend boyfriend. Instead of me to apologise and end this here I go further to tell him that I might consider saying yes to him if we are able to pull the pretend boyfriend thing through. I know that's not true and that was just the desperate spirit in me talking.

He gives me that strange look again and this time I just want the ground to open up and swallow me.

"You might consider saying yes", he repeats. "Wow! That... that hurt".
Why he is doing this to me, I don't get. He's making me feel like I'm such a bad person. Am I? Am I a bad person? Well whatever, keep your opinion to yourself.

"Tobi, don't talk like that", I tell him. "Just help a friend out here please".

He finally agrees after he sees my puppy dog face. I knew that would get to him. I mean, who wouldn't agree to what I want after seeing my puppy dog face? *flips hair*

Later that day at home I text Tobi to thank him. He tells me that I owe him big time for this and I reply that I'll give him whatever he wants. I probably shouldn't have told him that. He sends another text and what I read makes me numb. It says, This guy you want to show me off to. Do you still love him? Why the message affected me that way was what I didn't get. Maybe because I've never thought about that. Do I still love Fred?

Thanks for reading. The next part will be updated very soon.

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  1. I finally got to read this in peace and I wasn't disappointed...I never am!

    Poor Tobi...this WON'T end well ma! Lol

    Now Ads done made herself a pawn...twice over. Oh Lord! Lol